loneliness

Retirement progress report

~ admin ~ Leave a comment

Things are fine. I am learning to redefine myself and try doing things the give me pleasure, happiness and purpose besides making money. I am starting physical training PT at local college and will offer my services to 55 and over facing retirement and medical challenges. I am also starting to expand my cooking skills and will be volunteering at a local kitchen . Last but not least i am working on my next book, “Work book on how to retire successfully.

————————————————————————————————-
You spent 40 plus years paying attention to and planning your Breadwinning career. Work-related issues and problems filled your mind on the job and when at home. Now that is gone, but your mind has not moved on. Just like your planning for retirement where you were given financial advice on saving for retirement. You maintained a 401K, set aside money from your family for your own future use. You may have even gotten get help by engaging a financial planner to guide your investing. You were told that hobbies and vacations will fill your days with happiness and purpose. It may, but not likely. The book “Retirement How NOT to end up Tired, Bored and Lonely” is an excellent introduction to this next part of your life. In retirement, you need to rediscover yourself and your new purpose.

Coaching and your Comfort Zone

~ admin ~ Leave a comment

Coaching Areas
The challenge of fitness is the process of a paradigm shift on how you see yourself, people and things around you. You have made real choices in the first part of your life that have supported you fulfilling your objectives e.g. family, income, etc., you get to make them again. Couching is meant to enable you by recovering your body, clearing your mind and to give you the tools so you are aware of alternatives so you can choose again.

In the past, it was family, career, and money. Now it is a pleasure, happiness, and purpose.

Why coaching?
Simply said, it is because you have never been here before. All your experience, skills and motivation up to now has been focused on past journeys. During your life, you had parents, teachers, mentors experienced friends all working with you to help you transition from childhood to adolescence and adulthood.

When you retired you are told work on your hobbies or in other words stay out of the way. The trouble with this is you are still coherent. You need companionship and purpose to feel whole. Setting around collecting stamps was good as a break from active life, it is not enough if it is the only thing you have. Without companionship and purpose, you are just waiting to die.

You can continue to live your life working, collecting money and taking a vacation until mother nature calls and you a no longer physically able to continue. An alternative is to rediscover who you are now and just like you did as a teenager, experience new things and make new choices.

Retirement coaching helps you through this journey by helping found your body, discover you are what you eat, clear your mind of other peoples lives and have a clear and open view of yourself and step out of your patterns to discover friendships and purpose.

Coaching Agenda
In your teen age years, you made so many choices types of food, how you thought about your life and what things you liked or did not like to do. You where guided to opportunities my those around you preparing you to become an adult.

Retirement coaching takes you on the same journey with one key exception. On this journey you choose the destination that gives you pleasure, happiness and purpose in your retirement years. You have already earned money, raised a family and meet all the requirements of being grown up. Now you get to choose from all the alternatives, but first you must see and experience them, a paradigm shift.

Coaching covers eating regime (not dieting), breathing, meditation, exercise program to help you find your body and physical abilities that will support finding a tribe of people to enjoy your retirement years.

————————————————————————————————-
You spent 40 plus years paying attention to and planning your Breadwinning career. Work-related issues and problems filled your mind on the job and when at home. Now that is gone, but your mind has not moved on. Just like your planning for retirement where you were given financial advice on saving for retirement. You maintained a 401K, set aside money from your family for your own future use. You may have even gotten get help by engaging a financial planner to guide your investing. You were told that hobbies and vacations will fill your days with happiness and purpose. It may, but not likely. The book “Retirement How NOT to end up Tired, Bored and Lonely” is an excellent introduction to this next part of your life. In retirement, you need to rediscover yourself and your new purpose.

Retirement has started. What do I do? Just say Hi! Part III

~ admin ~ Leave a comment

The power of Hello, Good Morning, Please and Thank You.

You need to get up and get out of the house. Yes, out of the house. Go for a walk, bike ride or shop where there are other people. If walking, make eye contact and say Good Morning. Say Hi my name is Joel, I was wondering if you could direct me, guide me, spare a moment to talk.

Power of Hello.

The true benefits of saying Hi

You will feel the difference after the very first day. As you develop your style, the simple “Hello Joel” makes you feel great and who knows what it can lead too.

You spent 40 plus years paying attention to and planning your Breadwinning career. Work-related issues and problems filled your mind on the job and when at home. Now that is gone, but your mind has not moved on. Just like your planning for retirement where you were given financial advice on saving for retirement. You maintained a 401K, set aside money from your family for your own future use. You may have even gotten get help by engaging a financial planner to guide your investing. You were told that hobbies and vacations will fill your days with happiness and purpose. It may, but not likely. The book “Retirement How NOT to end up Tired, Bored and Lonely” is an excellent introduction to this next part of your life. In retirement, you need to rediscover yourself and your new purpose.

Retirement has started, so where do I go? What do i do? Part II.

~ admin ~ Leave a comment

You walk outside your home and you are lost. No place to go, Isolated and feeling anxious about not having alternatives. Here is what others have tried as transition into retirement to avoid the loneliness and depression of not having a life.

Shop for sales
Go to retail stores and get daily sales. This gets you out of the house, to be among people and interact with store clerks. Your family will appreciate what you buy. If not you can return the items until you understand their needs.

Estate and Garage Sales
Go to estate and garage sales and start collecting lamps, small statues, bottles of cologne, marbles, trains, etc. then sell them on eBay to cover your costs plus profit for your wife. You get to work with people on both ends and you set time and effort within your limits. See if you can join an ebay club in your area or a local training program.

Cook
Take over cooking dinners. Yes, be Mister Mom. Cook, shop for groceries, clean the refrigerator, prepare the meals, expand your comfort zone into new areas. This will be appreciated by all.

Physical Activity
Use an e-bike and go riding. Yes, take the physical challenge out and meet people riding. The idea is to go out and meet other riders rather then physical activity for muscle building or sweating. Join a bike club. You can go on A+ rides with the e-bike and not have to turn yourself inside out physically. You will be pleasantly surprised how much fun and purpose you will have.

Part Time Job
Be a school bus driver for 2 to 4 hours a day. Home Depot and Lowes offers part time work where you can pick your hours. Get out of the house, you get a great feeling of accomplishment by helping other people and get a little extra money to boot.

The objective is to get out of the house and do something that gets you with people doing something that you enjoy. You already had a career and earned lots of money. The direction is to find people you can make friends with.

Great video with good overview and some excellent recommendations on how to find good opportunities

You spent 40 plus years paying attention to and planning your Breadwinning career. Work-related issues and problems filled your mind on the job and when at home. Now that is gone, but your mind has not moved on. Just like your planning for retirement where you were given financial advice on saving for retirement. You maintained a 401K, set aside money from your family for your own future use. You may have even gotten get help by engaging a financial planner to guide your investing. You were told that hobbies and vacations will fill your days with happiness and purpose. It may, but not likely. The book “Retirement How NOT to end up Tired, Bored and Lonely” is an excellent introduction to this next part of your life. In retirement, you need to rediscover yourself and your new purpose.

Retirement – Making new friends

~ admin ~ Leave a comment

Found this great YouTube video on the process of making friends. It is so good, i had to post it so you can clearly see the effort of developing a new life in retirement and how this was all taken care of by your job and family prior to retirement. Enjoy.

You thought the only thing you needed was Money.

You spent 40 plus years paying attention to and planning your Breadwinning career. Work-related issues and problems filled your mind on the job and when at home. Now that is gone, but your mind has not moved on. Just like your planning for retirement where you were given financial advice on saving for retirement. You maintained a 401K, set aside money from your family for your own future use. You may have even gotten get help by engaging a financial planner to guide your investing. You were told that hobbies and vacations will fill your days with happiness and purpose. It may, but not likely. The book “Retirement How NOT to end up Tired, Bored and Lonely” is an excellent introduction to this next part of your life. In retirement you need to rediscover yourself and your new purpose.

Retirement Surprises – Isolation, Depression, Anxiety and Suicide – Part 0 Isolation (The beginning of the end!)

~ admin ~ Leave a comment

I have added a beginning to the trilogy of Depression, Anxiety and Suicide, this beginning is Isolation. It is the single event that will start the beginning of the end of your life. Yes, isolation results in greater heart disease, cancer and and is the equivalent of smoking half a pack of cigarettes a day. Here is a National Institute of Health study that details the impact of loneliness. LINK

You have just left behind a full career, a tribal group centered around work and supporting your family. All gone in a blink. The lie of retirement is that you think it is a simple continuation of your life, it is not! It is a new beginning. Remember when you had to go out and find friends, Choose a career where you added value to others’ lives so you could earn a living. Yes, the world did not come to you, you went out to it. In every case you left your home and tried to add value to other people’s lives.

This video talks to the real life experiences of retirees. This is not an easy or small challenge to happiness. It requires your full attention.

The first time you found pleasure, happiness and purpose, your entire tribal network was there to help and support you. You are retired and they are living their lives, raising families, building careers, taking vacations. All busy as one armed paper hangers, just like you were before retirement.

This BBC video really shows how bad it will be unless you step out just like you did in the beginning to redefine your life. Not to earn money or build a family, but to have a tribal network and friends. How will you add value to your community and purpose to your life?

Scary times.

You spent 40 plus years paying attention to and planning your Breadwinning career. Work-related issues and problems filled your mind on the job and when at home. Now that is gone, but your mind has not moved on. Just like your planning for retirement where you were given financial advice on saving for retirement. You maintained a 401K, set aside money from your family for your own future use. You may have even gotten get help by engaging a financial planner to guide your investing. You were told that hobbies and vacations will fill your days with happiness and purpose. It may, but not likely. The book “Retirement How NOT to end up Tired, Bored and Lonely” is an excellent introduction to this next part of your life. In retirement you need to rediscover yourself and your new purpose.

Retirement Surprises – Depression, Anxiety and Suicide – Part II Anxiety

~ admin ~ Leave a comment

We last looked at depression. Anxiety is the same in that you see no outward changes in your body but tremendous effect on your emotions, heart rate and stress levels. You are attacked by a tiger and your body responds even after the tiger (trigger) leaves.

We have a trigger that is with us 24/7, in retirement!

Here are some videos of people going through anxiety attacks:

This first video show the range of when an attach can occur and some alternatives to manage the event.

Listen to the intensity and lack of empowerment in the solution process.

Listen to the history of triggers, self-guilt and uncertainty.

Let us look at the how often retires experience anxiety attacks. A study of males over 50 show an an approximate 10% increase over younger males in depression and anxiety, Link.

We can assume that anxiety rates follow depression rates which mean 5% of the retirement population will suffer severe attacks and from 5% to 25% will suffer mild to suffer anxiety as part of the retirement journey.

The next blog will be on suicide and we will start the journey on alternative methods to help deal with the challenging three, Depression, Anxiety and Suicide.

You spent 40 plus years paying attention to and planning your Breadwinning career. Work-related issues and problems filled your mind on the job and when at home. Now that is gone, but your mind has not moved on. Just like your planning for retirement where you were given financial advice on saving for retirement. You maintained a 401K, set aside money from your family for your own future use. You may have even gotten get help by engaging a financial planner to guide your investing. You were told that hobbies and vacations will fill your days with happiness and purpose. It may, but not likely. The book “Retirement How NOT to end up Tired, Bored and Lonely” is an excellent introduction to this next part of your life. In retirement you need to rediscover yourself and your new purpose.

Retirement Surprises – Depression, Anxiety and Suicide – Part I Depression

~ admin ~ Leave a comment

You have successfully managed your money and have enough to live comfortably. Surprise, you may have just set yourself up for the most challenging and stressful time of your life. It turns out that after a brief busy period following retirement, 4% of retirees have severe depression and almost 25% suffer mild to severe depression. This does not include anxiety attacks or suicides.

Here is a YouTube video that reminds you that retirement means a new effort to find your pleasure, happiness and purpose and the need to find a new tribe. Just like when you were a teenager, you need friends:

This great YouTube video by a retiree discuses some truths of retirement’s challenges.

National Institute of Health (NIH) study that shows that a full 23+ percent of retirees suffers mild to moderate depression and almost 4% suffers severe depression
Link to Study

You spent 40 plus years paying attention to and planning your Breadwinning career. Work-related issues and problems filled your mind on the job and when at home. Now that is gone, but your mind has not moved on. Just like your planning for retirement where you were given financial advice on saving for retirement. You maintained a 401K, set aside money from your family for your own future use. You may have even gotten get help by engaging a financial planner to guide your investing. You were told that hobbies and vacations will fill your days with happiness and purpose. It may, but not likely. The book “Retirement How NOT to end up Tired, Bored and Lonely” is an excellent introduction to this next part of your life. In retirement you need to rediscover yourself and your new purpose.

Retire to Purpose – Would you recognize it?

~ admin ~ Leave a comment

I am discovering me. I cooked shrimp scampi, pork chops with broccoli in butter sauce and tomorrow hope to pan fry a chuck steak with onions. I felt accomplished by cooking and it really tastes good.

My purpose at that moment was to cook a good meal that I and others enjoy. Taking the moment to buy the food, prepare and cook it, create a fond memory that I want to repeat. It is not as grand as being a Breadwinner or eliminating world hunger. Though it did give me a sense of accomplishment, sharing and happiness. Could it be that purpose is more intimate and personal and is the result of you living, rather then something you go too.

The question is if purpose came up and introduced him or herself to you, would you recognize it?

A YouTube Video That you find your passions and purpose by living your life!

You spent 40 plus years paying attention to and planning your Breadwinning career. Work-related issues and problems filled your mind on the job and when at home. Now that is gone, but your mind has not moved on. Just like your planning for retirement where you were given financial advice on saving for retirement. You maintain a 401K, set aside money from your family for your own future use. You may even get help by engaging a financial planner to guide your investing. You were told that hobbies and vacations will fill your days with happiness and purpose. It may, but not likely. The book “Retirement How NOT to end up Tired, Bored and Lonely” is an excellent introduction to this next part of your life. In retirement you need to rediscover yourself and your new purpose.

Loneliness one of the great challenges of retirement

~ admin ~ 2 Comments

Loneliness is a major challenge when you retire. Once you leave work, you leave behind the majority of your social contacts.
The recommendation of hobbies and arts are typically single person activities.

A lonely retirement is like be in a minimum security prison with kitchen privileges

Research has found that loneliness has the same impact on mortality as smoking 15 cigarettes a day, making it even more dangerous than obesity.

How do you deal with being lonely?

Can you die of loneliness?

In my book “Retirement How NOT to end up Lonely, Tires and Bored” . I go over the steps to become aware of what give you pleasure and purpose and building a tribe.

A video on alternatives from accepting to being alone to stepping out of your comfort zone “How to deal with loneliness.”

During your career, you are given financial advice on saving for retirement. You maintain a 401K, set aside money from your family for your own future use.  You may even get help by engaging a financial planner to guide your investing.  You are told that hobbies and vacations will fill your days with happiness and purpose. It may, but not likely.