The power of Hello, Good Morning, Please and Thank You.
You need to get up and get out of the house. Yes, out of the house. Go for a walk, bike ride or shop where there are other people. If walking, make eye contact and say Good Morning. Say Hi my name is Joel, I was wondering if you could direct me, guide me, spare a moment to talk.
Power of Hello.
The true benefits of saying Hi
You will feel the difference after the very first day. As you develop your style, the simple “Hello Joel” makes you feel great and who knows what it can lead too.
You spent 40 plus years paying attention to and planning your Breadwinning career. Work-related issues and problems filled your mind on the job and when at home. Now that is gone, but your mind has not moved on. Just like your planning for retirement where you were given financial advice on saving for retirement. You maintained a 401K, set aside money from your family for your own future use. You may have even gotten get help by engaging a financial planner to guide your investing. You were told that hobbies and vacations will fill your days with happiness and purpose. It may, but not likely. The book “Retirement How NOT to end up Tired, Bored and Lonely” is an excellent introduction to this next part of your life. In retirement, you need to rediscover yourself and your new purpose.
You walk outside your home and you are lost. No place to go, Isolated and feeling anxious about not having alternatives. Here is what others have tried as transition into retirement to avoid the loneliness and depression of not having a life.
Shop for sales
Go to retail stores and get daily sales. This gets you out of the house, to be among people and interact with store clerks. Your family will appreciate what you buy. If not you can return the items until you understand their needs.
Estate and Garage Sales
Go to estate and garage sales and start collecting lamps, small statues, bottles of cologne, marbles, trains, etc. then sell them on eBay to cover your costs plus profit for your wife. You get to work with people on both ends and you set time and effort within your limits. See if you can join an ebay club in your area or a local training program.
Cook
Take over cooking dinners. Yes, be Mister Mom. Cook, shop for groceries, clean the refrigerator, prepare the meals, expand your comfort zone into new areas. This will be appreciated by all.
Physical Activity
Use an e-bike and go riding. Yes, take the physical challenge out and meet people riding. The idea is to go out and meet other riders rather then physical activity for muscle building or sweating. Join a bike club. You can go on A+ rides with the e-bike and not have to turn yourself inside out physically. You will be pleasantly surprised how much fun and purpose you will have.
Part Time Job
Be a school bus driver for 2 to 4 hours a day. Home Depot and Lowes offers part time work where you can pick your hours. Get out of the house, you get a great feeling of accomplishment by helping other people and get a little extra money to boot.
The objective is to get out of the house and do something that gets you with people doing something that you enjoy. You already had a career and earned lots of money. The direction is to find people you can make friends with.
Great video with good overview and some excellent recommendations on how to find good opportunities
You spent 40 plus years paying attention to and planning your Breadwinning career. Work-related issues and problems filled your mind on the job and when at home. Now that is gone, but your mind has not moved on. Just like your planning for retirement where you were given financial advice on saving for retirement. You maintained a 401K, set aside money from your family for your own future use. You may have even gotten get help by engaging a financial planner to guide your investing. You were told that hobbies and vacations will fill your days with happiness and purpose. It may, but not likely. The book “Retirement How NOT to end up Tired, Bored and Lonely” is an excellent introduction to this next part of your life. In retirement, you need to rediscover yourself and your new purpose.
I can’t get started. My day is centered around the TV. Watching the news over coffee and then I make myself a good breakfast, but instead of an energy boost, I find myself again watching the TV. Later I do something for the house or take a trip to the store to pick up a single item. In the afternoon, I will keep my wife company and go out for lunch and do some shoping. She shops while I find a place to sit. My chair and I are becoming one. My get up and go has got up and left.
Retirement is not a time of rest, it is a time to expand your pleasure, happiness and purpose beyond earning money. Get up, go out and do it.
By showing up you will be successful. Allow yourself to try. Trust your core values of a successful life. Great YouTube video on making it happen:
This YouTube touches on values that are you.
You spent 40 plus years paying attention to and planning your Breadwinning career. Work-related issues and problems filled your mind on the job and when at home. Now that is gone, but your mind has not moved on. Just like your planning for retirement where you were given financial advice on saving for retirement. You maintained a 401K, set aside money from your family for your own future use. You may have even gotten get help by engaging a financial planner to guide your investing. You were told that hobbies and vacations will fill your days with happiness and purpose. It may, but not likely. The book “Retirement How NOT to end up Tired, Bored and Lonely” is an excellent introduction to this next part of your life. In retirement, you need to rediscover yourself and your new purpose.
We last looked at depression. Anxiety is the same in that you see no outward changes in your body but tremendous effect on your emotions, heart rate and stress levels. You are attacked by a tiger and your body responds even after the tiger (trigger) leaves.
We have a trigger that is with us 24/7, in retirement!
Here are some videos of people going through anxiety attacks:
This first video show the range of when an attach can occur and some alternatives to manage the event.
Listen to the intensity and lack of empowerment in the solution process.
Listen to the history of triggers, self-guilt and uncertainty.
Let us look at the how often retires experience anxiety attacks. A study of males over 50 show an an approximate 10% increase over younger males in depression and anxiety, Link.
We can assume that anxiety rates follow depression rates which mean 5% of the retirement population will suffer severe attacks and from 5% to 25% will suffer mild to suffer anxiety as part of the retirement journey.
The next blog will be on suicide and we will start the journey on alternative methods to help deal with the challenging three, Depression, Anxiety and Suicide.
You spent 40 plus years paying attention to and planning your Breadwinning career. Work-related issues and problems filled your mind on the job and when at home. Now that is gone, but your mind has not moved on. Just like your planning for retirement where you were given financial advice on saving for retirement. You maintained a 401K, set aside money from your family for your own future use. You may have even gotten get help by engaging a financial planner to guide your investing. You were told that hobbies and vacations will fill your days with happiness and purpose. It may, but not likely. The book “Retirement How NOT to end up Tired, Bored and Lonely” is an excellent introduction to this next part of your life. In retirement you need to rediscover yourself and your new purpose.
Meditation comes in many flavors. You can go all the way from silence, isolation and deprivation of sensory to just learning how to prioritize your thoughts.
This is the first in a series on helping yourself to see what gives you pleasure and purpose in retirement. We start with the “list”.
The list works as follows:
Write down any subject that comes into your mind as you think about yourself and number them. A short example could be
1. I am overweight
2. My son does not have a regular job
3. I Wish I had more sex time with my wife
4. Garage door makes too much noise
Each item on the list is something you can wrap your mind around, world peace is too big, got it?
The next day or a day latter sit down and write the list again with the old list next to you. As you write the lists you will be able to feel each item. Your worries and woes are open for you to embrace and make friends with, not run from. Do this for 3-5 lists and you will feel that you are beginning to start to see yourself without the items on the list getting in the way. Latter we talk about list items that give you pleasure and purpose.
How do you manage your fears and frustrations?
This approach of embracing and making friends with your fear and troubles come from Tara Brack, PHD. She has many YouTube videos. Here is one you will enjoy. She is pointing out that inside you is a good person and the lists items are just stories that distract you from yourself.
During your career, you are given financial advice on saving for retirement. You maintain a 401K, set aside money from your family for your own future use. You may even get help by engaging a financial planner to guide your investing. You are told that hobbies and vacations will fill your days with happiness and purpose. It may, but not likely.. Meditation can help you see yourself, rather than your looking good and being right views.
Friends are not acquaintances. A friend is someone who you can
-Trust to tell you the truth, even if they disagree with you
-Will come when called
-Shared a meal and
-Shared your feeling and thoughts without judgement
What is a real friend?
Do you have a friend?
Doing the financial planning, savings in a 401K, getting the best financial advice is only part of a successful retirement.
In retirement you have left behind your role of provider and head of household. You are now a 60+ year old adultescent looking for friends and purpose that is centered around your pleasures and purposes. Just like you were as a teenager. The challenge is to find those pleasures and activities that give you pleasure, happiness and purpose.
As a teenager you sought friends and activities to share with them.
A video by Tony Robbins on finding yourself (your needs) and creating a blueprint for retirement so that your second life is as rewarding as your first.
Here is a simple test to see how fit you are. You will see that mobility is key to successful retirement. The test is not pass/fail; it is more to make you aware of your body. You need to see yourself for who and what you are. No judgment or evaluation, just clear vision. The purpose is to help you look at your body and your fitness condition, so you can guide your choices going forward.
Can you get up from a straight back chair without using your upper body to stand up? Yes, you have spent the last 30 plus years getting into the car, sitting at a desk and pushing a pencil. Now stand up. Not so easy? If you found the test a challenge, it should guide your choices.
You have saved for retirement, even hired a financial advisor to manage your 401K to guide you to a successful retirement. It would be sad that you spend it sitting in a chair.
Fitness is made up of two parts. What you eat and moving your body, e.g.,walking.
Here is a short video on eating regime, Ketosis –
Video of how to walk. We recommend limiting to 45 minutes per day maximum.
This book tells the story of denial, procrastination, uncertainty, and doubt that you go through as you approach and enter retirement. The viewpoint taken is that of the principal wage earner. The chapters focus on alternative paths that can be taken and why the recommendation” all you need is money,” is not true. It is also a must-read for spouses of retirees to better understand the severe impact that retirement has on their partner.
During your career, you are given financial advice on saving for retirement. You maintain a 401K, set aside money from your family for your own future use. You may even get help by engaging a financial planner to guide your investing. You are told that hobbies and vacations will fill your days with happiness and purpose. It may, but not likely.
Has your sense of purpose disappeared with your job?
Is your spouse telling you to stop hanging around the house?
Has your family moved on while you were at work?
All that money and why am I still so lonely?
Ah SH*T – Now what do I do?
Fear not, this is all normal and expected.
. This book takes you step by step in seeing your self and your world around you with a new vision, a “paradigm shift” so you can choose the path that gives you pleasure, purpose, and tribal involvement.
The book is a must-read for spouses of retires to understand better the severe impact that retirement has on their partner.
