aging

Retire to Purpose – Would you recognize it?

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I am discovering me. I cooked shrimp scampi, pork chops with broccoli in butter sauce and tomorrow hope to pan fry a chuck steak with onions. I felt accomplished by cooking and it really tastes good.

My purpose at that moment was to cook a good meal that I and others enjoy. Taking the moment to buy the food, prepare and cook it, create a fond memory that I want to repeat. It is not as grand as being a Breadwinner or eliminating world hunger. Though it did give me a sense of accomplishment, sharing and happiness. Could it be that purpose is more intimate and personal and is the result of you living, rather then something you go too.

The question is if purpose came up and introduced him or herself to you, would you recognize it?

A YouTube Video That you find your passions and purpose by living your life!

You spent 40 plus years paying attention to and planning your Breadwinning career. Work-related issues and problems filled your mind on the job and when at home. Now that is gone, but your mind has not moved on. Just like your planning for retirement where you were given financial advice on saving for retirement. You maintain a 401K, set aside money from your family for your own future use. You may even get help by engaging a financial planner to guide your investing. You were told that hobbies and vacations will fill your days with happiness and purpose. It may, but not likely. The book “Retirement How NOT to end up Tired, Bored and Lonely” is an excellent introduction to this next part of your life. In retirement you need to rediscover yourself and your new purpose.

Meditation See Your True Self – Acceptance not Judgement

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To be successful in your second life the one that does not include your Bread winning career, you need to see what give you pleasure, happiness and purpose. In your Bread winning career it was easier, money and meeting your family needs. Now it is just you. You need to clear your mind of judging others, you know the negative thinking. You can manage this list by writing it down, read it over and put is aside, now think about you. Start with an item totally under your control like brushing your teeth:

— Which toothpaste?
— Firmness of toothbrush (soft, medium or hard)?
— How long do you brush?
— Electrical or manual?

This finding yourself takes concentration, effort and acceptance of your choices, not judgement or looking good for others. Set a timer on your phone for two minutes and while brushing think about how it feels. Are you tasting the tooth paste? When done, do you feel good about yourself? Are you in the moment of brushing your teeth? Did it give you pleasure, happiness and a sense of purpose?

Do you see brushing your teeth as a few moments of self care, meditation and calm or an obligation?

If you like electric toothbrush and your wife likes manual is she wrong? Can you embrace her like of manual toothbrushes?

YouTube Video on How to brush your teeth?

You spent 40 plus years paying attention to and planning your Bread winning career. Work related issues and problems filled your mind on the job and when at home. Now that is gone, but your mind has not moved on. Just like your planning for retirement where you were given financial advice on saving for retirement. You maintain a 401K, set aside money from your family for your own future use. You may even get help by engaging a financial planner to guide your investing. You are told that hobbies and vacations will fill your days with happiness and purpose. It may, but not likely. The book “Retirement How NOT to end up Tired, Bored and Lonely” is an excellent introduction to this next part of your life.

Meditation – Negative thought lists may induce stress

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There is an ancient chinese proverb that says if you think you are being chased by a tiger, you are being chased by a tiger.

In your Bread winning career you were paid to look for and solve problems. Some jobs were made up of people always coming with problems. When you spend 40 plus years only thinking about what could go wrong can develop into a bad habit. Negative thinking not only takes you away from thinking about yourself, it can also do very bad things to your mind, body and health.

Make a short positive thought list like:

— I enjoy cooking and eating pork chops
— How good your neighbors the compliment felt on your front garden
— The feeling of learning to order something on Amazon

Yes, this list is all about you: manageable and real, the comparison to a list about other people and subjects that cannot be controlled:

–Your brother in laws lifestyle is a waste of time
–Younger kids have no social skills because of their phones
–Reasons why you will not use a smartphone.

How many times a day do you find yourself stressed thinking about things you cannot control?

Here is a YouTube video on how stress affects you mind, body and medical wellbeing.

You spent 40 plus years paying attention to and planning your Bread winning career. Work related issues and problems filled your mind on the job and when at home. Now that is gone, but your mind has not moved on. Just like your planning for retirement where you were given financial advice on saving for retirement. You maintain a 401K, set aside money from your family for your own future use. You may even get help by engaging a financial planner to guide your investing. You are told that hobbies and vacations will fill your days with happiness and purpose. It may, but not likely.

Meditation in Retirement – Managing Negative thoughts

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Meditation in retirement is not meant to solve problems but to accept them as they exist so you can have time to discover yourself. Each of us have our individual views on what makes a good life. Some we adopted from our tribe, others we made up as we moved through our lives. You need to free yourself from the things that stop you from finding yourself, that person who has pleasure and purpose in during your retirement. You need to learn to manage your thoughts and judgments you developed over the last 60+ years so you can find yourself and what makes you feel right about you.

If you spend your time commenting on things that you cannot control, not part of your life and you view are wrong. Like:

Your brother in laws lifestyle is a waste of time.
Younger kids have no social skills because of their phones.
Reasons why you will not use a smartphone.
Why Amazon is bad for the world

You need to manage your thought list so they are items about you not other people?

A ted talk on feeling good about ourselves:

Ted talk about how we think empty, rather then half full. Hope this makes you aware so to better manage your lists and remember the good stuff!:

You spent 40 plus years paying attention and planning your Big money career. Now that is gone, but your mind has not moved on. Just like your planning for retirement where you were given financial advice on saving for retirement. You maintain a 401K, set aside money from your family for your own future use. You may even get help by engaging a financial planner to guide your investing. You are told that hobbies and vacations will fill your days with happiness and purpose. It may, but not likely.

Meditation – List management: Fear, Uncertainty and Doubt (FUD)

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Every few days you should review your list of Fear, Uncertainty and Doubt (FUD) issues in your life. These are items that you think about and creates anxiety. They hang around in your mind and fill your head whenever you get some free-thinking time. You try to push them away and distract yourself. But these are tough and keep coming back at you.

You need to accept them without judgement. Make them friends and “agree to disagree” with these thoughts. Bring them closer to your heart.

You have a son who is not employed and spends his days couch surfing with friends from college. He is 25 and not going anywhere fast. You are frustrated that he is not earning money and not growing up and becoming an adult. You know, job, relationship, home and children. You want to tell him how he is missing the boat, not being a contributor. Let me remind you that there are nine billion people on this planet who will tell him about which path to take, but he has only one father.

Look at him and see his goodness, strengths and his love and caring for you and you for him. Accept him and trust his choices as his, not yours. Can you feel that by not judging, by being a friend accepting him with love and caring. He can live his life and still be part of yours.

Do not judge, just agree to disagree.

Do you spend time living other people’s lives and not living your own?

Eckharte Tolle – Addicted to Thinking:

Tara Black on how we drive ourselves into anxiety loops:

During your career, you are given financial advice on saving for retirement. You maintain a 401K, set aside money from your family for your own future use.  You may even get help by engaging a financial planner to guide your investing.  You are told that hobbies and vacations will fill your days with happiness and purpose. It may, but not likely.. Meditation can help you see yourself, rather than your looking good and being right views.

Retirement – Journey to Fitness – Are you fit?

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Here is a simple test to see how fit you are. You will see that mobility is key to successful retirement. The test is not pass/fail; it is more to make you aware of your body. You need to see yourself for who and what you are. No judgment or evaluation, just clear vision. The purpose is to help you look at your body and your fitness condition, so you can guide your choices going forward.

Can you get up from a straight back chair without using your upper body to stand up? Yes, you have spent the last 30 plus years getting into the car, sitting at a desk and pushing a pencil. Now stand up. Not so easy? If you found the test a challenge, it should guide your choices.

You have saved for retirement, even hired a financial advisor to manage your 401K to guide you to a successful retirement. It would be sad that you spend it sitting in a chair.

Fitness is made up of two parts. What you eat and moving your body, e.g.,walking.

Here is a short video on eating regime, Ketosis –

Video of how to walk. We recommend limiting to 45 minutes per day maximum.

Retirement – “All you need is money,” is not true.

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This book tells the story of denial, procrastination, uncertainty, and doubt that you go through as you approach and enter retirement.   The viewpoint taken is that of the principal wage earner. The chapters focus on alternative paths that can be taken and why the recommendation” all you need is money,” is not true.  It is also a must-read for spouses of retirees to better understand the severe impact that retirement has on their partner.

During your career, you are given financial advice on saving for retirement. You maintain a 401K, set aside money from your family for your own future use.  You may even get help by engaging a financial planner to guide your investing.  You are told that hobbies and vacations will fill your days with happiness and purpose. It may, but not likely.