Flyer announcing author presentation and discussion on retirement at Middletown Library on October 22 at 7PM
You spent 40 plus years paying attention to and planning your Breadwinning career. Work-related issues and problems filled your mind on the job and when at home. Now that is gone, but your mind has not moved on. Just like your planning for retirement where you were given financial advice on saving for retirement. You maintain a 401K, set aside money from your family for your own future use. You may even get help by engaging a financial planner to guide your investing. You were told that hobbies and vacations will fill your days with happiness and purpose. It may, but not likely. The book “Retirement How NOT to end up Tired, Bored and Lonely” is an excellent introduction to this next part of your life. In retirement you need to rediscover yourself and your new purpose.
I am discovering me. I cooked shrimp scampi, pork chops with broccoli in butter sauce and tomorrow hope to pan fry a chuck steak with onions. I felt accomplished by cooking and it really tastes good.
My purpose at that moment was to cook a good meal that I and others enjoy. Taking the moment to buy the food, prepare and cook it, create a fond memory that I want to repeat. It is not as grand as being a Breadwinner or eliminating world hunger. Though it did give me a sense of accomplishment, sharing and happiness. Could it be that purpose is more intimate and personal and is the result of you living, rather then something you go too.
The question is if purpose came up and introduced him or herself to you, would you recognize it?
A YouTube Video That you find your passions and purpose by living your life!
You spent 40 plus years paying attention to and planning your Breadwinning career. Work-related issues and problems filled your mind on the job and when at home. Now that is gone, but your mind has not moved on. Just like your planning for retirement where you were given financial advice on saving for retirement. You maintain a 401K, set aside money from your family for your own future use. You may even get help by engaging a financial planner to guide your investing. You were told that hobbies and vacations will fill your days with happiness and purpose. It may, but not likely. The book “Retirement How NOT to end up Tired, Bored and Lonely” is an excellent introduction to this next part of your life. In retirement you need to rediscover yourself and your new purpose.
Congratulations you have retired. Saved enough so you have food to eat, money to travel and can still climb a flight of stairs. You have been successful in your Breadwinner career and providing for your family. In retirement you need to find your new purpose that give you pleasure, happiness and accomplishment (purpose). Sometimes this is hard to share with others and yourself so you can maintain direction in your life.
Do you know your purpose in retirement?
Here is a Ted YouTube video on how to verbalize your retirements lifes purpose
You spent 40 plus years paying attention to and planning your Breadwinning career. Work-related issues and problems filled your mind on the job and when at home. Now that is gone, but your mind has not moved on. Just like your planning for retirement where you were given financial advice on saving for retirement. You maintain a 401K, set aside money from your family for your own future use. You may even get help by engaging a financial planner to guide your investing. You are told that hobbies and vacations will fill your days with happiness and purpose. It may, but not likely. The book “Retirement How NOT to end up Tired, Bored and Lonely” is an excellent introduction to this next part of your life. In retirement you need to rediscover yourself and your new purpose.
To be successful in your second life the one that does not include your Bread winning career, you need to see what give you pleasure, happiness and purpose. In your Bread winning career it was easier, money and meeting your family needs. Now it is just you. You need to clear your mind of judging others, you know the negative thinking. You can manage this list by writing it down, read it over and put is aside, now think about you. Start with an item totally under your control like brushing your teeth:
— Which toothpaste?
— Firmness of toothbrush (soft, medium or hard)?
— How long do you brush?
— Electrical or manual?
This finding yourself takes concentration, effort and acceptance of your choices, not judgement or looking good for others. Set a timer on your phone for two minutes and while brushing think about how it feels. Are you tasting the tooth paste? When done, do you feel good about yourself? Are you in the moment of brushing your teeth? Did it give you pleasure, happiness and a sense of purpose?
Do you see brushing your teeth as a few moments of self care, meditation and calm or an obligation?
If you like electric toothbrush and your wife likes manual is she wrong? Can you embrace her like of manual toothbrushes?
YouTube Video on How to brush your teeth?
You spent 40 plus years paying attention to and planning your Bread winning career. Work related issues and problems filled your mind on the job and when at home. Now that is gone, but your mind has not moved on. Just like your planning for retirement where you were given financial advice on saving for retirement. You maintain a 401K, set aside money from your family for your own future use. You may even get help by engaging a financial planner to guide your investing. You are told that hobbies and vacations will fill your days with happiness and purpose. It may, but not likely. The book “Retirement How NOT to end up Tired, Bored and Lonely” is an excellent introduction to this next part of your life.
There is an ancient chinese proverb that says if you think you are being chased by a tiger, you are being chased by a tiger.
In your Bread winning career you were paid to look for and solve problems. Some jobs were made up of people always coming with problems. When you spend 40 plus years only thinking about what could go wrong can develop into a bad habit. Negative thinking not only takes you away from thinking about yourself, it can also do very bad things to your mind, body and health.
Make a short positive thought list like:
— I enjoy cooking and eating pork chops
— How good your neighbors the compliment felt on your front garden
— The feeling of learning to order something on Amazon
Yes, this list is all about you: manageable and real, the comparison to a list about other people and subjects that cannot be controlled:
–Your brother in laws lifestyle is a waste of time
–Younger kids have no social skills because of their phones
–Reasons why you will not use a smartphone.
How many times a day do you find yourself stressed thinking about things you cannot control?
Here is a YouTube video on how stress affects you mind, body and medical wellbeing.
You spent 40 plus years paying attention to and planning your Bread winning career. Work related issues and problems filled your mind on the job and when at home. Now that is gone, but your mind has not moved on. Just like your planning for retirement where you were given financial advice on saving for retirement. You maintain a 401K, set aside money from your family for your own future use. You may even get help by engaging a financial planner to guide your investing. You are told that hobbies and vacations will fill your days with happiness and purpose. It may, but not likely.
Meditation in retirement is not meant to solve problems but to accept them as they exist so you can have time to discover yourself. Each of us have our individual views on what makes a good life. Some we adopted from our tribe, others we made up as we moved through our lives. You need to free yourself from the things that stop you from finding yourself, that person who has pleasure and purpose in during your retirement. You need to learn to manage your thoughts and judgments you developed over the last 60+ years so you can find yourself and what makes you feel right about you.
If you spend your time commenting on things that you cannot control, not part of your life and you view are wrong. Like:
Your brother in laws lifestyle is a waste of time.
Younger kids have no social skills because of their phones.
Reasons why you will not use a smartphone.
Why Amazon is bad for the world
You need to manage your thought list so they are items about you not other people?
A ted talk on feeling good about ourselves:
Ted talk about how we think empty, rather then half full. Hope this makes you aware so to better manage your lists and remember the good stuff!:
You spent 40 plus years paying attention and planning your Big money career. Now that is gone, but your mind has not moved on. Just like your planning for retirement where you were given financial advice on saving for retirement. You maintain a 401K, set aside money from your family for your own future use. You may even get help by engaging a financial planner to guide your investing. You are told that hobbies and vacations will fill your days with happiness and purpose. It may, but not likely.
Meditation comes in many flavors. You can go all the way from silence, isolation and deprivation of sensory to just learning how to prioritize your thoughts.
This is the first in a series on helping yourself to see what gives you pleasure and purpose in retirement. We start with the “list”.
The list works as follows:
Write down any subject that comes into your mind as you think about yourself and number them. A short example could be
1. I am overweight
2. My son does not have a regular job
3. I Wish I had more sex time with my wife
4. Garage door makes too much noise
Each item on the list is something you can wrap your mind around, world peace is too big, got it?
The next day or a day latter sit down and write the list again with the old list next to you. As you write the lists you will be able to feel each item. Your worries and woes are open for you to embrace and make friends with, not run from. Do this for 3-5 lists and you will feel that you are beginning to start to see yourself without the items on the list getting in the way. Latter we talk about list items that give you pleasure and purpose.
How do you manage your fears and frustrations?
This approach of embracing and making friends with your fear and troubles come from Tara Brack, PHD. She has many YouTube videos. Here is one you will enjoy. She is pointing out that inside you is a good person and the lists items are just stories that distract you from yourself.
During your career, you are given financial advice on saving for retirement. You maintain a 401K, set aside money from your family for your own future use. You may even get help by engaging a financial planner to guide your investing. You are told that hobbies and vacations will fill your days with happiness and purpose. It may, but not likely.. Meditation can help you see yourself, rather than your looking good and being right views.
