I wake up early, wash up, get dressed and go to the gym or bike for 45 minutes. Now what? I could stay at the gym or bike ride for the day and have bragging rights, but I would still be alone. My mother like to say a job solves all your problems. So what is the path to pleasure, happiness, and purpose in retirement?
The trick is do repeat what you did when you were a teen. Just go out and try it. If it does not work, pick something else and try again. Do it out of the house and with people. Just like when you were a teen and went to play in the neighborhood. If this is outside of your comfort zone. That ok. It was when you were a teen and you survived.
A YouTube Video on stepping outside your comfort zone.
The bottom line is you can now choose a purpose that does not force you to support your family. A choice that give you pleasure and happiness.
We last looked at depression. Anxiety is the same in that you see no outward changes in your body but tremendous effect on your emotions, heart rate and stress levels. You are attacked by a tiger and your body responds even after the tiger (trigger) leaves.
We have a trigger that is with us 24/7, in retirement!
Here are some videos of people going through anxiety attacks:
This first video show the range of when an attach can occur and some alternatives to manage the event.
Listen to the intensity and lack of empowerment in the solution process.
Listen to the history of triggers, self-guilt and uncertainty.
Let us look at the how often retires experience anxiety attacks. A study of males over 50 show an an approximate 10% increase over younger males in depression and anxiety, Link.
We can assume that anxiety rates follow depression rates which mean 5% of the retirement population will suffer severe attacks and from 5% to 25% will suffer mild to suffer anxiety as part of the retirement journey.
The next blog will be on suicide and we will start the journey on alternative methods to help deal with the challenging three, Depression, Anxiety and Suicide.
You spent 40 plus years paying attention to and planning your Breadwinning career. Work-related issues and problems filled your mind on the job and when at home. Now that is gone, but your mind has not moved on. Just like your planning for retirement where you were given financial advice on saving for retirement. You maintained a 401K, set aside money from your family for your own future use. You may have even gotten get help by engaging a financial planner to guide your investing. You were told that hobbies and vacations will fill your days with happiness and purpose. It may, but not likely. The book “Retirement How NOT to end up Tired, Bored and Lonely” is an excellent introduction to this next part of your life. In retirement you need to rediscover yourself and your new purpose.
Every few days you should review your list of Fear, Uncertainty and Doubt (FUD) issues in your life. These are items that you think about and creates anxiety. They hang around in your mind and fill your head whenever you get some free-thinking time. You try to push them away and distract yourself. But these are tough and keep coming back at you.
You need to accept them without judgement. Make them friends and “agree to disagree” with these thoughts. Bring them closer to your heart.
You have a son who is not employed and spends his days couch surfing with friends from college. He is 25 and not going anywhere fast. You are frustrated that he is not earning money and not growing up and becoming an adult. You know, job, relationship, home and children. You want to tell him how he is missing the boat, not being a contributor. Let me remind you that there are nine billion people on this planet who will tell him about which path to take, but he has only one father.
Look at him and see his goodness, strengths and his love and caring for you and you for him. Accept him and trust his choices as his, not yours. Can you feel that by not judging, by being a friend accepting him with love and caring. He can live his life and still be part of yours.
Do not judge, just agree to disagree.
Do you spend time living other people’s lives and not living your own?
Eckharte Tolle – Addicted to Thinking:
Tara Black on how we drive ourselves into anxiety loops:
During your career, you are given financial advice on saving for retirement. You maintain a 401K, set aside money from your family for your own future use. You may even get help by engaging a financial planner to guide your investing. You are told that hobbies and vacations will fill your days with happiness and purpose. It may, but not likely.. Meditation can help you see yourself, rather than your looking good and being right views.