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Retirement Surprises – Isolation, Depression, Anxiety and Suicide – Part 0 Isolation (The beginning of the end!)

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I have added a beginning to the trilogy of Depression, Anxiety and Suicide, this beginning is Isolation. It is the single event that will start the beginning of the end of your life. Yes, isolation results in greater heart disease, cancer and and is the equivalent of smoking half a pack of cigarettes a day. Here is a National Institute of Health study that details the impact of loneliness. LINK

You have just left behind a full career, a tribal group centered around work and supporting your family. All gone in a blink. The lie of retirement is that you think it is a simple continuation of your life, it is not! It is a new beginning. Remember when you had to go out and find friends, Choose a career where you added value to others’ lives so you could earn a living. Yes, the world did not come to you, you went out to it. In every case you left your home and tried to add value to other people’s lives.

This video talks to the real life experiences of retirees. This is not an easy or small challenge to happiness. It requires your full attention.

The first time you found pleasure, happiness and purpose, your entire tribal network was there to help and support you. You are retired and they are living their lives, raising families, building careers, taking vacations. All busy as one armed paper hangers, just like you were before retirement.

This BBC video really shows how bad it will be unless you step out just like you did in the beginning to redefine your life. Not to earn money or build a family, but to have a tribal network and friends. How will you add value to your community and purpose to your life?

Scary times.

You spent 40 plus years paying attention to and planning your Breadwinning career. Work-related issues and problems filled your mind on the job and when at home. Now that is gone, but your mind has not moved on. Just like your planning for retirement where you were given financial advice on saving for retirement. You maintained a 401K, set aside money from your family for your own future use. You may have even gotten get help by engaging a financial planner to guide your investing. You were told that hobbies and vacations will fill your days with happiness and purpose. It may, but not likely. The book “Retirement How NOT to end up Tired, Bored and Lonely” is an excellent introduction to this next part of your life. In retirement you need to rediscover yourself and your new purpose.

Retirement Surprises – Depression, Anxiety and Suicide – Part II Anxiety

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We last looked at depression. Anxiety is the same in that you see no outward changes in your body but tremendous effect on your emotions, heart rate and stress levels. You are attacked by a tiger and your body responds even after the tiger (trigger) leaves.

We have a trigger that is with us 24/7, in retirement!

Here are some videos of people going through anxiety attacks:

This first video show the range of when an attach can occur and some alternatives to manage the event.

Listen to the intensity and lack of empowerment in the solution process.

Listen to the history of triggers, self-guilt and uncertainty.

Let us look at the how often retires experience anxiety attacks. A study of males over 50 show an an approximate 10% increase over younger males in depression and anxiety, Link.

We can assume that anxiety rates follow depression rates which mean 5% of the retirement population will suffer severe attacks and from 5% to 25% will suffer mild to suffer anxiety as part of the retirement journey.

The next blog will be on suicide and we will start the journey on alternative methods to help deal with the challenging three, Depression, Anxiety and Suicide.

You spent 40 plus years paying attention to and planning your Breadwinning career. Work-related issues and problems filled your mind on the job and when at home. Now that is gone, but your mind has not moved on. Just like your planning for retirement where you were given financial advice on saving for retirement. You maintained a 401K, set aside money from your family for your own future use. You may have even gotten get help by engaging a financial planner to guide your investing. You were told that hobbies and vacations will fill your days with happiness and purpose. It may, but not likely. The book “Retirement How NOT to end up Tired, Bored and Lonely” is an excellent introduction to this next part of your life. In retirement you need to rediscover yourself and your new purpose.

Retirement Surprises – Depression, Anxiety and Suicide – Part I Depression

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You have successfully managed your money and have enough to live comfortably. Surprise, you may have just set yourself up for the most challenging and stressful time of your life. It turns out that after a brief busy period following retirement, 4% of retirees have severe depression and almost 25% suffer mild to severe depression. This does not include anxiety attacks or suicides.

Here is a YouTube video that reminds you that retirement means a new effort to find your pleasure, happiness and purpose and the need to find a new tribe. Just like when you were a teenager, you need friends:

This great YouTube video by a retiree discuses some truths of retirement’s challenges.

National Institute of Health (NIH) study that shows that a full 23+ percent of retirees suffers mild to moderate depression and almost 4% suffers severe depression
Link to Study

You spent 40 plus years paying attention to and planning your Breadwinning career. Work-related issues and problems filled your mind on the job and when at home. Now that is gone, but your mind has not moved on. Just like your planning for retirement where you were given financial advice on saving for retirement. You maintained a 401K, set aside money from your family for your own future use. You may have even gotten get help by engaging a financial planner to guide your investing. You were told that hobbies and vacations will fill your days with happiness and purpose. It may, but not likely. The book “Retirement How NOT to end up Tired, Bored and Lonely” is an excellent introduction to this next part of your life. In retirement you need to rediscover yourself and your new purpose.

Where to Retire – The one key question to ask

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Retirement options are different for men and for women. Men who lost their tribe want to start over. They may be having social anxiety and are lost without a “job”. They suggest:

Take a Winnebago trip across the county
Move to new housing in a different state
Move to a summer home in the middle of a forest

They are running away, from their feeling of isolation and loss of purpose in their lives. They are alone in their man caves. No matter where you end up living, the challenge is when you get to where you are going you still need to find and grow the tribe of people to have pleasure, happiness and purpose in your retirement years. Bottom line it does not matter where, but with whom you are living that is the leading driver for where to retire. The one key question is:

Are you living within 15 minutes of family or “true” friend?

They key to successful retirement is not being isolated and alone. You will need to find and develop “Purpose” and that means interacting with people to achieve a goal. True friends and family are great companions in this journey.

Other key considerations are:

If you live in the middle of nowhere, you are nowhere. Make sure community resources are within a 15 to 30-minute drive e.g. shopping, entertainment, hospitals, doctors, housing, public transportation, etc.
Reconsider what give you purpose and happiness. You have almost spent your entire life working for family, career and wealth. Each day ask yourself: “What do give you pleasure, happiness and purpose?” Change those things that do not. Start small with what you like to eat for lunch. What shirts you like to wear. Choose and keep choosing. Watch the small things, the big items will follow
Live within your financial means. Happiness is not found in conspicuous consumption. When you pay people for a service, these people are paid to be nice to you. It is not a acquaintance or a relationship, just a moment in time where you are distracted form your real life.

Here is a video of two women discussing handling and repurposing your life in retirement. Enjoy

You spent 40 plus years paying attention to and planning your Breadwinning career. Work-related issues and problems filled your mind on the job and when at home. Now that is gone, but your mind has not moved on. Just like your planning for retirement where you were given financial advice on saving for retirement. You maintained a 401K, set aside money from your family for your own future use. You may have even gotten get help by engaging a financial planner to guide your investing. You were told that hobbies and vacations will fill your days with happiness and purpose. It may, but not likely. The book “Retirement How NOT to end up Tired, Bored and Lonely” is an excellent introduction to this next part of your life. In retirement you need to rediscover yourself and your new purpose.

Retirement –

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Flyer announcing author presentation and discussion on retirement at Middletown Library on October 22 at 7PM

You spent 40 plus years paying attention to and planning your Breadwinning career. Work-related issues and problems filled your mind on the job and when at home. Now that is gone, but your mind has not moved on. Just like your planning for retirement where you were given financial advice on saving for retirement. You maintain a 401K, set aside money from your family for your own future use. You may even get help by engaging a financial planner to guide your investing. You were told that hobbies and vacations will fill your days with happiness and purpose. It may, but not likely. The book “Retirement How NOT to end up Tired, Bored and Lonely” is an excellent introduction to this next part of your life. In retirement you need to rediscover yourself and your new purpose.

Retire to Purpose – Would you recognize it?

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I am discovering me. I cooked shrimp scampi, pork chops with broccoli in butter sauce and tomorrow hope to pan fry a chuck steak with onions. I felt accomplished by cooking and it really tastes good.

My purpose at that moment was to cook a good meal that I and others enjoy. Taking the moment to buy the food, prepare and cook it, create a fond memory that I want to repeat. It is not as grand as being a Breadwinner or eliminating world hunger. Though it did give me a sense of accomplishment, sharing and happiness. Could it be that purpose is more intimate and personal and is the result of you living, rather then something you go too.

The question is if purpose came up and introduced him or herself to you, would you recognize it?

A YouTube Video That you find your passions and purpose by living your life!

You spent 40 plus years paying attention to and planning your Breadwinning career. Work-related issues and problems filled your mind on the job and when at home. Now that is gone, but your mind has not moved on. Just like your planning for retirement where you were given financial advice on saving for retirement. You maintain a 401K, set aside money from your family for your own future use. You may even get help by engaging a financial planner to guide your investing. You were told that hobbies and vacations will fill your days with happiness and purpose. It may, but not likely. The book “Retirement How NOT to end up Tired, Bored and Lonely” is an excellent introduction to this next part of your life. In retirement you need to rediscover yourself and your new purpose.

Retirement First steps to the rest of your life – Purpose

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Congratulations you have retired. Saved enough so you have food to eat, money to travel and can still climb a flight of stairs. You have been successful in your Breadwinner career and providing for your family. In retirement you need to find your new purpose that give you pleasure, happiness and accomplishment (purpose). Sometimes this is hard to share with others and yourself so you can maintain direction in your life.

Do you know your purpose in retirement?

Here is a Ted YouTube video on how to verbalize your retirements lifes purpose

You spent 40 plus years paying attention to and planning your Breadwinning career. Work-related issues and problems filled your mind on the job and when at home. Now that is gone, but your mind has not moved on. Just like your planning for retirement where you were given financial advice on saving for retirement. You maintain a 401K, set aside money from your family for your own future use. You may even get help by engaging a financial planner to guide your investing. You are told that hobbies and vacations will fill your days with happiness and purpose. It may, but not likely. The book “Retirement How NOT to end up Tired, Bored and Lonely” is an excellent introduction to this next part of your life. In retirement you need to rediscover yourself and your new purpose.

Meditation Is it possible while under drug addition

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The purpose of meditation is to have a tool to manage all the busy thoughts generated by judgments of others and negative thinking. Judging other would be great if they wanted or cared about your opinion. Usually, they do not, and it is only you justifying your view in contrast to theirs. Agree to disagree. Accept their idea as an alternative and free your mind and body from managing it on your thought list. Negative thinking is you looking for problems. Great if walking in the forest and watching out for lions, tigers, and bears or running a company looking for future challenges to solve. These are now distractions from you seeing yourself.

Drugs, in this case, sugar and carbohydrates when eaten in excessive quantities are an addictive drug that can result in diabetes, excessive weight, and anxiety or Metabolic Syndrome. These ailments are distractions from you finding yourself and your pleasures, happiness, and purpose during retirement

Are you a sugar and carbohydrate drug addict? Try MyFitnessPal and iPhone application to measure your percent carbohydrates and sugars that are consumed as part of your daily calories. Just like smoking, caffeine and alcohol, all drugs that hamper your free will, you are a drug addict addicted to sugars and carbohydrates.

Ted YouTube video on Sugar and Carbohydrates as an addictive drug:

You spent 40 plus years paying attention to and planning your Breadwinning career. Work-related issues and problems filled your mind on the job and when at home. Now that is gone, but your mind has not moved on. Just like your planning for retirement where you were given financial advice on saving for retirement. You maintain a 401K, set aside money from your family for your own future use. You may even get help by engaging a financial planner to guide your investing. You are told that hobbies and vacations will fill your days with happiness and purpose. It may, but not likely. The book “Retirement How NOT to end up Tired, Bored and Lonely” is an excellent introduction to this next part of your life.

Meditation See Your True Self – Acceptance not Judgement

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To be successful in your second life the one that does not include your Bread winning career, you need to see what give you pleasure, happiness and purpose. In your Bread winning career it was easier, money and meeting your family needs. Now it is just you. You need to clear your mind of judging others, you know the negative thinking. You can manage this list by writing it down, read it over and put is aside, now think about you. Start with an item totally under your control like brushing your teeth:

— Which toothpaste?
— Firmness of toothbrush (soft, medium or hard)?
— How long do you brush?
— Electrical or manual?

This finding yourself takes concentration, effort and acceptance of your choices, not judgement or looking good for others. Set a timer on your phone for two minutes and while brushing think about how it feels. Are you tasting the tooth paste? When done, do you feel good about yourself? Are you in the moment of brushing your teeth? Did it give you pleasure, happiness and a sense of purpose?

Do you see brushing your teeth as a few moments of self care, meditation and calm or an obligation?

If you like electric toothbrush and your wife likes manual is she wrong? Can you embrace her like of manual toothbrushes?

YouTube Video on How to brush your teeth?

You spent 40 plus years paying attention to and planning your Bread winning career. Work related issues and problems filled your mind on the job and when at home. Now that is gone, but your mind has not moved on. Just like your planning for retirement where you were given financial advice on saving for retirement. You maintain a 401K, set aside money from your family for your own future use. You may even get help by engaging a financial planner to guide your investing. You are told that hobbies and vacations will fill your days with happiness and purpose. It may, but not likely. The book “Retirement How NOT to end up Tired, Bored and Lonely” is an excellent introduction to this next part of your life.

Meditation – Negative thought lists may induce stress

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There is an ancient chinese proverb that says if you think you are being chased by a tiger, you are being chased by a tiger.

In your Bread winning career you were paid to look for and solve problems. Some jobs were made up of people always coming with problems. When you spend 40 plus years only thinking about what could go wrong can develop into a bad habit. Negative thinking not only takes you away from thinking about yourself, it can also do very bad things to your mind, body and health.

Make a short positive thought list like:

— I enjoy cooking and eating pork chops
— How good your neighbors the compliment felt on your front garden
— The feeling of learning to order something on Amazon

Yes, this list is all about you: manageable and real, the comparison to a list about other people and subjects that cannot be controlled:

–Your brother in laws lifestyle is a waste of time
–Younger kids have no social skills because of their phones
–Reasons why you will not use a smartphone.

How many times a day do you find yourself stressed thinking about things you cannot control?

Here is a YouTube video on how stress affects you mind, body and medical wellbeing.

You spent 40 plus years paying attention to and planning your Bread winning career. Work related issues and problems filled your mind on the job and when at home. Now that is gone, but your mind has not moved on. Just like your planning for retirement where you were given financial advice on saving for retirement. You maintain a 401K, set aside money from your family for your own future use. You may even get help by engaging a financial planner to guide your investing. You are told that hobbies and vacations will fill your days with happiness and purpose. It may, but not likely.