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Retirement Surprises – Isolation, Depression, Anxiety and Suicide – Part 0 Isolation (The beginning of the end!)

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I have added a beginning to the trilogy of Depression, Anxiety and Suicide, this beginning is Isolation. It is the single event that will start the beginning of the end of your life. Yes, isolation results in greater heart disease, cancer and and is the equivalent of smoking half a pack of cigarettes a day. Here is a National Institute of Health study that details the impact of loneliness. LINK

You have just left behind a full career, a tribal group centered around work and supporting your family. All gone in a blink. The lie of retirement is that you think it is a simple continuation of your life, it is not! It is a new beginning. Remember when you had to go out and find friends, Choose a career where you added value to others’ lives so you could earn a living. Yes, the world did not come to you, you went out to it. In every case you left your home and tried to add value to other people’s lives.

This video talks to the real life experiences of retirees. This is not an easy or small challenge to happiness. It requires your full attention.

The first time you found pleasure, happiness and purpose, your entire tribal network was there to help and support you. You are retired and they are living their lives, raising families, building careers, taking vacations. All busy as one armed paper hangers, just like you were before retirement.

This BBC video really shows how bad it will be unless you step out just like you did in the beginning to redefine your life. Not to earn money or build a family, but to have a tribal network and friends. How will you add value to your community and purpose to your life?

Scary times.

You spent 40 plus years paying attention to and planning your Breadwinning career. Work-related issues and problems filled your mind on the job and when at home. Now that is gone, but your mind has not moved on. Just like your planning for retirement where you were given financial advice on saving for retirement. You maintained a 401K, set aside money from your family for your own future use. You may have even gotten get help by engaging a financial planner to guide your investing. You were told that hobbies and vacations will fill your days with happiness and purpose. It may, but not likely. The book “Retirement How NOT to end up Tired, Bored and Lonely” is an excellent introduction to this next part of your life. In retirement you need to rediscover yourself and your new purpose.

Retirement Surprises – Depression, Anxiety and Suicide – Part II Anxiety

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We last looked at depression. Anxiety is the same in that you see no outward changes in your body but tremendous effect on your emotions, heart rate and stress levels. You are attacked by a tiger and your body responds even after the tiger (trigger) leaves.

We have a trigger that is with us 24/7, in retirement!

Here are some videos of people going through anxiety attacks:

This first video show the range of when an attach can occur and some alternatives to manage the event.

Listen to the intensity and lack of empowerment in the solution process.

Listen to the history of triggers, self-guilt and uncertainty.

Let us look at the how often retires experience anxiety attacks. A study of males over 50 show an an approximate 10% increase over younger males in depression and anxiety, Link.

We can assume that anxiety rates follow depression rates which mean 5% of the retirement population will suffer severe attacks and from 5% to 25% will suffer mild to suffer anxiety as part of the retirement journey.

The next blog will be on suicide and we will start the journey on alternative methods to help deal with the challenging three, Depression, Anxiety and Suicide.

You spent 40 plus years paying attention to and planning your Breadwinning career. Work-related issues and problems filled your mind on the job and when at home. Now that is gone, but your mind has not moved on. Just like your planning for retirement where you were given financial advice on saving for retirement. You maintained a 401K, set aside money from your family for your own future use. You may have even gotten get help by engaging a financial planner to guide your investing. You were told that hobbies and vacations will fill your days with happiness and purpose. It may, but not likely. The book “Retirement How NOT to end up Tired, Bored and Lonely” is an excellent introduction to this next part of your life. In retirement you need to rediscover yourself and your new purpose.

Retirement New understanding of a friend

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I was sitting at the docks enjoying the view and meet a young women and we started talking about life’s issues. She was recently divorced and relocated from here childhood location of Denver, Co. She was challenged by anxiety and was walking her therapy dog. Our conversation centered around finding and making a friend. I offered the characteristics of a friend.

– Come when you need them
– Listen and dialogue without judgement
– Are part of your life, you have broken bread with them

It can take over 200 hours of contact to turn an acquaintance into a friend.
She added immediately that when she is with a friend she is at rest
I thought her comment was so real that i have now added it to the definition of a friend. A friend is someone you are with totally at ease. It is a time of being together and real. This is in alignment with Tara Brack’s guidance on meditation.

Could it be that being with a friend is like being in the now?

A video from the movie “Ted” that can give you a visual of a friend. Enjoy.

You spent 40 plus years paying attention to and planning your Breadwinning career. Work-related issues and problems filled your mind on the job and when at home. Now that is gone, but your mind has not moved on. Just like your planning for retirement where you were given financial advice on saving for retirement. You maintained a 401K, set aside money from your family for your own future use. You may have even gotten get help by engaging a financial planner to guide your investing. You were told that hobbies and vacations will fill your days with happiness and purpose. It may, but not likely. The book “Retirement How NOT to end up Tired, Bored and Lonely” is an excellent introduction to this next part of your life. In retirement you need to rediscover yourself and your new purpose.

Meditation – Negative thought lists may induce stress

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There is an ancient chinese proverb that says if you think you are being chased by a tiger, you are being chased by a tiger.

In your Bread winning career you were paid to look for and solve problems. Some jobs were made up of people always coming with problems. When you spend 40 plus years only thinking about what could go wrong can develop into a bad habit. Negative thinking not only takes you away from thinking about yourself, it can also do very bad things to your mind, body and health.

Make a short positive thought list like:

— I enjoy cooking and eating pork chops
— How good your neighbors the compliment felt on your front garden
— The feeling of learning to order something on Amazon

Yes, this list is all about you: manageable and real, the comparison to a list about other people and subjects that cannot be controlled:

–Your brother in laws lifestyle is a waste of time
–Younger kids have no social skills because of their phones
–Reasons why you will not use a smartphone.

How many times a day do you find yourself stressed thinking about things you cannot control?

Here is a YouTube video on how stress affects you mind, body and medical wellbeing.

You spent 40 plus years paying attention to and planning your Bread winning career. Work related issues and problems filled your mind on the job and when at home. Now that is gone, but your mind has not moved on. Just like your planning for retirement where you were given financial advice on saving for retirement. You maintain a 401K, set aside money from your family for your own future use. You may even get help by engaging a financial planner to guide your investing. You are told that hobbies and vacations will fill your days with happiness and purpose. It may, but not likely.

Loneliness one of the great challenges of retirement

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Loneliness is a major challenge when you retire. Once you leave work, you leave behind the majority of your social contacts.
The recommendation of hobbies and arts are typically single person activities.

A lonely retirement is like be in a minimum security prison with kitchen privileges

Research has found that loneliness has the same impact on mortality as smoking 15 cigarettes a day, making it even more dangerous than obesity.

How do you deal with being lonely?

Can you die of loneliness?

In my book “Retirement How NOT to end up Lonely, Tires and Bored” . I go over the steps to become aware of what give you pleasure and purpose and building a tribe.

A video on alternatives from accepting to being alone to stepping out of your comfort zone “How to deal with loneliness.”

During your career, you are given financial advice on saving for retirement. You maintain a 401K, set aside money from your family for your own future use.  You may even get help by engaging a financial planner to guide your investing.  You are told that hobbies and vacations will fill your days with happiness and purpose. It may, but not likely.